1:00 Parent Driven Development reflects on what it’s like being a panelist on the podcast

• Imposter syndrome
• Multiple purposes to be an effective parent
• Expanding perspectives, ideas, and parenting techniques
• Ability to relate with one another

8:40 What we hope to our listeners take away from the podcast

• There is no one way to parent
• You’ll continue to grow as a parent
• You are not alone - every parent, kid, family, circumstances are different

13:30 What would we have done differently?

• Earlier sponsorship
• Episode format

16:15 Parting words for listeners

• Thank you!!
• You’re doing a great job.

17:17 Final genius and fail moments

• Chris Sexton’s daughter uses the word arithmetic with her peers, but no one knows the word leading her to question whether her parents played a prank on her.
• Allison calms down her family with deep breathing after her daughter has a potty accident.
• KWu’s 3-year-old son feels super proud after helping shovel the snow, and he helped!
• Chris Arcand finds the perfect snow sled for his son to be towed around in the deep Minnesota snow.

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Chris Arcand
Chris Sexton
KWu
Allison

Welcome, Jean Hsu!

Jean Hsu is a writer, coach, and software engineer turned leadership coach after working for a decade in Silicon Valley. She is the VP of engineering at Range Labs and Co-founder of Co Leadership, which focuses on filling the gaps in leadership development in the tech industry. Jean doesn’t miss writing code, but she does miss deleting it.

0:53 Finding a new job during the pandemic

• Desire strikes for leadership
• The hiring process

5:20 How did the pandemic change your thought process

• Intentionality of specific desires - management, leadership, flexibility
• Enjoying the journey rather than letting comparison or stress take over

7:30 What would Jean do differently now?

• Finding ways to lean into async communication with a remote team in different time zones, while keeping the team engaged and connected with each other
• Hybrid mix of in-person and remote is the future for companies

13:13 Pre-pandemic commute tales

• Feels like a different lifetime

15:40 New expectations for Range during the pandemic

• Getting rid of the 9-5; windowed work with colored labels
• Core hours for team meetings
• Setting boundaries

19:40 Genius and fail moments

• KWu closed her son’s fingers between a door hinge… #fail
• Allison’s daughter turns 3 and shines at her yearly doctor's appointment. #genius
• Jean downloaded TikTok and discovered the best parenting hack to tell your kids to do a task, rather than ask. #genius
• Chris brings back his daughter's love of Star Wars. #genius

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Allison
KWu
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Jean Hsu.

Welcome, Felienne!

Felienne is the creator of the Hedy programming language, and was one of the founders of the Joy of Coding conference. Since 2016, she has been a host at SE radio, one of the most popular software engineering podcasts on the web. Felienne is the author of “The Programmer’s Brain” a book that helps programmers understand how their brains work and how to use it more effectively. In 2021, Felienne was awarded the Dutch Prize for ICT research.

0:50 How does Felienne become interested in programming education?

• Research field towards programming education
• Love of kids

3:33 Methods and strategies to help kids understand

• Relevant for professionals
• Full concentration disables full memory, so she lowers the cognitive load
• After time, memory starts to build and functioning increases

6:02 Maximizing different learning styles in kids

• Learn their preferences
• Challenges their default learning style

9:57 Felienne’s new book

• How people learn programming
• The more information you know about your brain can help you understand how you learn

11:40 Interesting findings

• Cognitive load

14:00 Top tips related to programming

• Refactoring for personal comprehension
• Let go of one golden standard that code is suppose to look like

17:29 Specific differences between professionals and kids

• Motivation
• Concrete vs open ended expression

20:50 - 1 take away

• Take the kids hands, and guide them

22:20

• Allison and her husband score a few days each solo as they transition back into their home #genius
• Felienne’s students fuss over the different symbols of division in coding #fail

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Allison

Special Guest: Felienne Hermans.

0:30 Moving and renting realities

• KWu moves
• Allison’s home renovations
• Preparation before the kids

4:30 Toys

• Ethical parenting of getting rid of toys
• Hiding and cleaning out old toys from the kids (out of sight out of mind)

10:05 Establishing new house rules

• Setting realistic expectations on new floors, new rooms, new finishes
• Furniture socks
• Furniture caster cups
• Respect and Take Care of Things
• Learning to get along book series

18:35 Caution police in new house

• Acceptance is key
• Roommates with no impulse control.. your kids. ;)

22:40 Genius and fail moments

• KWu’s kids got into some old and slimy carrots meant for the compost.. But at least they’re eating vegetables!
• Allison’s son gets shut down from her parenting synchronicity with her husband.

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

KWu
Allison

0:40 Fear and stress of parenting

• From independent… to having dependents
• Trends of becoming more conservative once a parent

2:50 Decision making process

• High alert, more burden than non-parents
• Different decisions and problems at different stages of the kids
• Background buzz of constant anxiety

6:40 Different stresses

• Physical dangers for smaller kids, choking hazards
• Trying to avoid helicopter parenting
• Screen interest, programming, and patience

10:55 Big anxieties

• Screen time !! Constant worry and stress for modern parents with kids
• Augmenting reality through screens - stress for middle school aged parents
• How to foster new sibling relationships

Siblings Without Rivalry - book

• How to avoid middle child syndrome with three kids, carve out alone time with each child
• Feeling guilty to tell kids to play by themselves.. But it’s also important to learn

21:35 Genius and fail moments from the last week

• KWu moves to a new house and her son is waking every night from terrors or feeling too cold as she’s been keeping the thermostat down real low. #fail
• Jess’s son is a pretty adventurous eater and recently discovered balsamic vinegar which is now a new favorite! #genius
• Chris makes biscuits and conjures a family night which turned into a great family time. #genius

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Jess
Chris S
KWu

Episode Highlights

KWu, Chris, Josh, and Allison reflect on the past 3-years of podcasting. They touch on their favorite episodes and guests over the years, as well as some favorite parenting genius and fail moments!

1:30 Episode 43 - Managing parents on your team with Nick Means

3:10 Episode 19 - Being Adults, Live from Ruby Conf with Jonan Scheffler

7:25 Episode 11 - Being a Trans-Parent with Jess Szmajda

10:35 Episode 26 - Breastfeeding with Allison, Mandy, and KWu

13:06 Episode 13 - Babies at Work Program with Leah Silber

14:38 Episode 39 - Parenting Roles and Gender Equity with Richard Schneeman

15:50 Episode 34 - Extracurricular Activities with Barrett Clark

18:18 Episode 20 - Fertility Struggles with Adam Cuppy

19:55 Josh's rememberable genuis and fail moments

22:40 Genius / fails

• Allison questions herself as a parent due to a Hanukkah gift gone wrong
• Josh bans Elf on Shelf and his daughter starts to question Santa Claus
• Chris nails the Christmas lights on his son’s bed.. But then begins to question everything when he begins to struggle getting his son out of the car to go to school.
• KWu and her son enjoy a fresh snowfall!

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

KWu
Josh
Allison
Chris S

David is the creator of Ruby on Rails, cofounder & CTO at Basecamp, best-selling author, Le Mans class-winning racing driver, frequent podcast guest, and family man.

2:50 Security concerns

• Social Media
• COVID times
• Parenting boundaries

13:45 Privacy

• Picture surplus
• Authenticity

16:45 Engagement with parenting on the web

• The highlight parenting reel
• Avoid the humble brag as a parent
• Internet jousts

DHH recommended books:

• The Myth of the Spoiled Child - Alfie Kohn
• Punished by Rewards - Alfie Kohn * The Self-Driven Child - Ned Johnson

26:30 Introducing privileges to his kids

• Capitalism
• Against artificial constraints placed on by parents
• A life not centered around materialism

The Road To Wigan Pier - George Orwell

38:38 Genius / Fails

• Arit makes a crib boundary with a creative new upcycle
• KWu wrestles with a photo book for her kids
• Chris fails on fail this week
• DHH is off by an hour as his kids come home right as this podcast starts
• Allison’s daughter challenges her patience during bed time

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Allison
Chris S
Arit
KWu

Special Guest: David Heinemeier Hansson .

Sponsored By:

• Honeybadger: So Let’s face it, your code is going to have errors, even code written by an amazing developer such as yourself. When errors happen, it's nice to know that Honeybadger has your back. Honeybadger makes you a DevOps hero by combining error monitoring, uptime monitoring and check-in monitoring into a single, easy to use platform. Honeybadger sends you alerts real time with all the context needed to see what's causing the error and where it's hiding so you can quickly fix it and get on with your day. The included uptime and cron monitoring also lets you know when your external services are having issues or your background jobs go missing or silently fail. Go to Honeybadger.io and discover how Starr, Josh, and Ben created a 100% bootstrapped monitoring solution. Why is this important? Self funding means they only answer to you, the developer, rather than a venture capital overlord. Visit Honeybadger.io today and mention this podcast to get started for 30% off

• Subculture for wooden toys
• The Nugget couch
• Parents become hyper focused on specific products
• Careful what your Google
• How to choose your Facebook groups
• The Social Dilemma
• Social media groups are "bad"/addicting, but also useful..
• Geo-fencing - creating fairer ways for international purchases
• The lottery
• Lucie's List
• Pandemic toys for the New Year
• More pressure for parents
• Moms targeted mostly in the Facebook Groups
• Marketing kids toys with trigger language: “Investment piece”

Parents: You are doing a GREAT job.

Genius / Fails

KWu tries to rotate out toys and clothes for her son, but things aren’t going well.
Allison smoothly close out virtual Ruby conf while managing multiple interruptions from her kids

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

KWu
Allison

Jess, Chris S, and Allison discuss the hiring and interviewing process in tech. They share their experience as the interviewee, as well as the interviewer. The team identifies the underlying bias in the process, good signs and bad signs, and why it's important to set up a potential interviewee in the best environment possible.

01:45 Hiring and Interviewing in tech

• Jess writes a book and gets a new job
• How to reduce bias in interviewing process

03:33 Tech interviews hinder parents and caregivers

• Take-home vs pairing session
• Hiring managers should set up the interviewee in the best possible scenario
• 6-8 hours for a take-home test, unrealistic for caregivings

09:50 How to access talent

• Everyway is flawed
• Take-home - kids constantly interrupting
• Paired - many engineers are introverted
• Solutions: Short at-home mixed with pairing, or problem prompt

13:30 Bias

• How to reduce: rubric for every round, being aware of the bias
• Allison asks about parental leave, and feels the tone shift drastically
  
• Legal protection, but a lot of fuzzy areas
  

16:45 Good signs for parents interviewing

• Its a non-event when a child pops into the room while on a call
• Companies reward evenly
• Talk with team members outside the interviewing committee
• Talk with someone you relate to on the team, mom, trans, BIPOC, etc

20:30 Bad signs for parents interviewing

• The entire tone changes after asking about parental leave..
• Judgmental, leadership team of non-parents

22:00 Handing flexibility

• Ask about parental leave, primary and secondary leave
• Be honest with needs
• Workplace flexibility

28:37 Genius / fail

• Jess deals with her son having accidents constantly
• Chris and his kids play board games and jam out to all songs names satellite
• Allison’s daughter sparks chaos when she leaves her room after bedtime… but soon learns to stay in her room to tire herself out.

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Jess
Allison
Chris S

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

Welcome Brandon!

Brandon Hays is a dad and engineering leader based in Austin, TX. His professional mission is to help the tech industry improve by organizing people to accomplish things together in environments that recognize and support their "human-ness". His personal mission is to survive parenthood until the kids are in college.

02:40 Brandon's co-parenting

• Starting with traditional gender roles
• Co-parenting was a foriegn concept until remote work..
• The invisible work becomes more visible
• Covid has forced parents to confront the amount of work it takes to raise kids

06:30 Co-parenting during the pandemic

• Awareness that things changed… kids cannot return to school
• Brandon becomes the educator during the pandemic
• The amount of work to parent became too high when everything shut down
• Reworking the home dynamic when one partner needs help
• Asking for flexibility in places where he had previous thought was not available before

10:53 Working out responsibility between partners

• Clear contracts
• Splitting up tasks and making them known to each partner
• Alternating cooking dinner and clean up
• Family clean day
• Creating activities for kids, even after a long day
• Check in with your partner, how are you feeling burden?

14:05 Recognize your partner's strengths

• Being comfortable with how each partner co-parents
  
• Recognition of each partner
• Optimize each parenting style and continue to check in
• Asking and taking the self-care when it is needed

17:30 Working together

19:10 How has Covid refocused things?!

• Strengthened the team mentality
• Hard to sustain the intensity of the pandemic
• Constant change, the on-call parent

24:40 Prioritization - Do our actions line up with our values?

27:00 Take away: preserve time for planning and reflection

28:35 Genius / fail moments

• Allison checks in while her son is in virtual school and feels major mom guilt…
• Chris’s family visits and brings his camper for a huge win!
• Arit slyly phases out her daughters stuffed animal #genius
• Jess’s son goes full into minecraft, but it may be too much.. #possiblegenius
• KWu repurposed geotags for wooden toys for her kids #genius
• Brandon get creative taking pictures of his kids in their natural habitat

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Chris Arcand
Jess
Arit
Allison
KWu

Special Guest: Brandon Hays.

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

03:04 Welcome to Parent Driven Development

03:30 Virtual school with school age children

• Kindergarten, middle school, high school
• Missing out on the life experiences
• Pros and cons

05:25 Exposure to other students

• Not enough time to build up relationships within the zoom chats
• Teachers stepping up to engage the kids with each other and in class
• Tough in kindergarten because the kids can’t break off without a teacher

11:29 Less the supervising time on virtual school

• First week, very hands on, but less and less over time
• Kids have learned to adapt quite quickly

14:00 Extra hands to help

• Parents can do work, but not focused work while supervising zoom school
• Extra help definitely makes a difference

15:45 Homework

• Losing track of how to turn in assignments for middle/highschoolers
• No take home HW for kindergarten
• State assessments
• Perk - you can rewatch the class video if you have questions

21:45 Teacher Props!

• Powerpoints
• Yoga and stretch breaks
• Partner reads
• Side chats
• Parent updates

25:00 Is life better with zoom school?

• Allison is satisfied with the cards dealt, but mourns the first day of school memories
• Chris thinks in some ways, it’s better

30:15 Genius / fail moments

• Chris figures out how to turn facetime back on his son’s devices, but has to keep track of his use.. #genius/fail
• Allison plans her move around the time of year her kids would need to change seasonal clothes. Less work, more organized #genius

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Chris S
Allison

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN
• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30

All Our Kin is a nationally recognized nonprofit organization that trains, supports, and sustains family child care educators—transforming opportunities by ensuring that children and families have the foundation they need to succeed in school and in life.

Jessica Sager is the co-founder and chief executive officer of All Our Kin. A graduate of Barnard College and Yale Law School, Jessica co-teaches a Yale University seminar on “Child Care, Society, and Public Policy”. She has provided commentary on child care issues for Time, The Hill, New America, and Education Week. She currently lives in New Haven, CT, with her husband and their fifteen-year-old daughter.

00:58 Welcome, Jessica Sager!

• Paul Tough: Helping Children Succeed & How Children Succeed
• Child care as profession in the home
• Making invisible workers as child care professionals visible through All Our Kin

04:18 Changing the way we value child care in our society

• Low income, closures, possible risk of losing convenient access
• More visible with current covid crisis
• At a crossroads

06:30 We’re not meant to raise kids alone - How All Our Kin helps

• All our kin in supporting child care educators around the country through their model
• Advocate for a different way to treat child care
• Direct work to educators and family; delivery ppe, public health guidance, supporting emotional and mental wellbeing of child care educators, playing new virtual roles

10:03 How can others help advocate for child care

• View as public good
• Employers need to step up

12:40 The impact in marginalized communities

• Positive impact on the economy; all our kin as a rate of return 15-20% on their investment
• Equity; making sure kids have a safe place to go even during the pandemic
• Non standard hours are needed most by essential workers

16:50 Family care network

• Designed as a hub and place of support for educators; helping people become licesned to become a professional educator, support them as educators, training on how to run a business, located in a place/community and building out their network.
• Educators are often passionate and utilize all the support and tools of All Our Kin to make meaningful and lasting change

20:20 Moving to the virtual space

• People are showing up! Connection is desired and needed

22:10 Local support wins

• Cultural differences, but deep similarities for shared passion and love for raising kids
• New Haven model succeeds in the Bronx and Nebraska

25:50 Genius / fail moments

• Kwu makes an awesome new corn chowder recipe, but her toddler wasn’t enjoying it.. #fail
• Chris struggles to get his kids online for zoom school.. As a senior engineer himself.. #fail
• Jess is at a crossroads over too much screen time for her son… but minecraft.... #genius/fail
• Jessica got an adorable pandemic kitten, but the kitten has been zoom bombing important school and work presentations. #genius on the kitten #fail on the zoom bombs

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

KWu
Chris S
Jess

Special Guest: Jessica Sager.

02:22 Welcome, Mijha Godfrey!

Mijha Godfrey is the founder of Jambo Books. Jambo, which means both “hello” and “welcome” in Swahili, is a book subscription service for children aged 0 – 13 where all the books feature lead characters who are children of color. The stories in Jambo Books focus on the beauty of childhood, the joys of friendship and family, the thrill of new adventures, the wonderful tapestry that is the life of a child of color.

Mijha is passionate about helping parents raise children who won’t need to be taught how to tolerate people who are different from themselves because they will expect and enjoy healthy inclusion.

04:04 The importance of a diverse library

• Not letting experience resonate in only trauma or holiday

05:25 When should parents start showcasing different representations in their community to their children?

• Yesterday.. aka ASAP, as young as infants
• Race is recognized from an early age and the earlier exposure the better
• Showcasing universal things all children go through, not just culturally recognized celebrations
• Normalizing life experience of children of color

09:32 Jambo celebrates all representations

• Books are a gentle gateway
• Letting children of color know that they belong in all spaces

13:40 How do you choose books for Jambo?

• All books sent out are fiction
• Must star a child of color
• Has to be a good story, impactful

15:45 How do you introduce the ideas in the books to your children?

• Confront stereotypes head on!
• Can I touch your hair?

19:40 What push back have you experienced?

• Standing strong in their mission

24:20 Tips for book storage?

• More shelves!
• Recycle and pass forward books in the community

26:15 Genius / fail moments

• KWu's son turned 3! Yayy.. but feeling guilty that she is a couple years behind on the yearly photo albums. #fail
• Allison's daughter boy-cots her virtual doctors appointment, her son zips off virtual kindergarten and chaos is all happening at once! #fail
• Arit's daughters nails a technical aspect of potty training. #genius
• Mijha's daughter reads a book that sparks a racail conversation on a playdate. History well learned, but not wanting to her daughter to do the race work #winfail

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

Panel

KWu
Allison
Arit

Special Guest: Mijha Godfrey.

Sponsored By:

• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30

01:17 How do personal priorities and desired job circumstances change?

• Flexibility + time off
• Managing parents during emergencies
• Building resilience within a company

08:18 Chaos monkey

• Applying the method to people
• Setting quality expectations that everyone agrees on

10:45 Benefits are important

• Healthcare, dental care, infertility, adoption, etc…

12:46 Perceiving direct reports from a manager perspective about what parents really care about

• Salary should fit one's needs, they aren’t worried if their kids need braces
• What employees care about matters!
• Managers syncing up for 1:1 calls is essential
• Standing meetings

17:30 Time management

• Planning interruptions as a parent
• Coding flow
• Essential reminders
• Working nights and weekends by choice

27:57 Genius / fail moments

• Chris Arcand hacked his three-year-old sleep with a soothing sound bath #genius
• Chris Sexton’s son is a Scout and had to tackle the virtual retreat by sleeping in the yard for one week to mimic the real thing. Quarantine win #genius

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

Panel

Chris Arcand
Chris Sexton

Sponsor: Nurture Life

Welcome, Anna Mackenzie

Anna Mackenzie is a Software Engineer who is dedicated to improving parental leave policies in tech. She is currently working at Voiceflow, a software startup that specializes in workflow tools for building voice experiences. She is the co-author of “The Expecting Playbook,” a toolkit that helps start-ups of all sizes to roll out supportive parental leave policies. Her follow-up book, titled “The Parental Playbook,” provides start-ups with the necessary tools to support parents upon their return to work. In 2018, Anna was named as one of the Top 25 Women of Influence in Canada, as well as one of the Top 30 Women In Tech Making a Difference by the DMZ.

02:40 How did you come up with the idea? Why write these books?

• Being a minority in the industry
• Starting to ask difficult questions to companies she was interviewing for
• No startup policy that lead to leadership roles for women
• Companies need a better hiring practices for women

05:50 Asking about parental leave during interviews

• Maternity AND paternity leave
• Are companies set up to have employees transition easily in and out of leave?

08:40 Changing perspective in the workplace

• The work place was designed for a world that no longer exists
• The necessary reason to be LOUD about things you believe in

13:35 Good policies get great people

• Employer thinking about childcare > parents thinking about childcare
• Diversity includes parents

17:10 How are companies adjusting to parents during COVID19

• Moms are typically affected more
• How can we restructure what work looks like - long overdue!

18:40 How to be inclusive of parents when they come back from leave

• Changing activities other than happy hour
• Adding a lock to the pumping room
• The importance of having diverse leadership and voices

20:45 Psychological safety

• What’s OK for parents to mention to their team?
• Will the team think less because a parent is sleep deprived
• Employees do better work

26:15 Genius / fail moments

• KWu gets her son to help with the dishes one utensil at a time to keep him from making a mess in the living room. #genius
• Allison creates an obstacle course to keep her kids occupied, which includes a captain’s hat! #genius
• Arit stays consistent potty training her daughter and finally gets onto the other side of potty training! #HUGEwin
• Anna’s dog gets sprayed by a skunk at a friend's house, cleans him off and then goes home, to only get skunked again in her backyard!! #fail

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

Panel

Allison McMillan
Arit Amana
KWu

Special Guest: Anna Mackenzie.

Sponsored By:

• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30

02:16 Taking breaks as a parent, how have you been coping?

• Is everyone taking breaks?
• Chris breaks with home projects
• Allison opts for a few full days off, rather than breaking during her day
• KWu dives into Downton Abbey

07:32 Productive breaks

• Increasing your home ROI
• Decreasing internet time during “breaks”
• Home improvements

09:15 A break crisis!

• Dinner Time chaos
• How syncing self care time with business trips is no longer an option
• Making an intention plan for a stay-cation

15:35 Planning for fun

• Animal Crossing
• Making lists

18:43 Choosing not to make the adult decision

• Binging on a novel late at night
• Sometimes choosing the wrong thing is the right decision

23:25 Genius / Fail moments

• Chris shares his parents-only “secret food” with the kids #genius
• Allison spooks her kids by hiding from them after they don’t want to go along with their normal bedtime routine and it was a major success #genius
• KWu says yes in the moment but wasn’t actually prepared for her son to join her in the kitchen.. #fail

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Chris Sexton
Allison McMillan
KWu

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN
• WonderCrate: Are your kids tired of looking at Zoom all day? Keep learning fun and hands-on this school year with Wonder Crate. Wonder Crate is a subscription box created by a former educator to introduce kids to inspirational role models, sparks curiosity and connects kids to their own possibilities. Each monthly kit comes to your doorstep with a book AND fun hands-on activities to educate, entertain and empower! In our September box kids will read about Marie Curie and discover how this brilliant young girl who loved math and physics became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize. Then they will perform their own experiments with magnets and magnetic slime. Get ready to be inspired! Head on over to wondercratekids.com and use code PARENTDRIVEN to get 25% off your first box. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

Welcome, Scott Hanselman

Scott is a programmer, teacher, and speaker. He works out of his home office in Portland, Oregon for the Web Platform Team at Microsoft. Scott has been blogging for 10 years and enjoys blogging about technology, culture, gadgets, diversity, code, and the web. Scott is excited about community, social equity, media, entrepreneurship and above all, the open web.

02:49 Allowances for kids and parents

• Father of two boys
• The large “A”, and the little “a”
• Partner side-eyeing
• How to make online banking unscrollable
• Sunday cash withdraw

06:01 The mental shift around money

• How much money can you spend without consulting your partner?

08:05 Marriage first, kids second

• Intentionality, goals, visions - what’s the plan?
• Scott’s marital mission statement* - we’re on the same side

10:43 Cash only for allowance

• The feeling money brings
• Teaching our children the value of the dollar
• Greenlight APP - mock debit card
• Spend, save, give

16:15 Allowance $$$ amounts

• Required chores, that you don’t get paid for!
• Scott’s perspective around allowance vs. chores
• Teaching the kids how not to be a bad roommate

17:50 Should parents incentivized tasks for the kids

• Spread the effort - rotate chores
• Having the kids contribute
• Perception management - to teach our kids the value of a dollar

23:45 Family commitments as roommates and peers

• Context switching with parenting

24:16 Genius / fail moments

• Chris’s son, 3-year-old, tunes into Disney Plus only to watch a movie that is terrifying to him #fail
• Arit’s daughter as a mishap with potty training #fail
• Scott tries to show his kids movie classics, but #fails by choosing the wrong ones, on the otherside Scott and his family are doing a deep dive of American History inspired by current events #genius
• Allison has a #genius when her kids create and play Ice Cube games to keep themselves entertained

### How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

Panel

Allison McMillan
Arit Amana
Chris Arcand

Special Guest: Scott Hanselman.

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

Yvonne is a home system strategist, mom of two, lover of Girl Scout cookies, cake, craving song parodies and getting outdoors with the family. She is on a mission to revolutionize everyones view of #MomLife. She is the creator of your Agile Home, a four-week course that looks to get your family together, feel like a valued member of the team, instilling autonomy and having fun!

00:50 Welcome, Yvonne Marcus

• Background in TV production
• How Agile Home came about
• Bringing Agile into her home
• Establishing family values

07:10 When and how is Agile executed in Yvonne’s house?

• WFH, toddlers and setting values
• Run as SCRUM
• The sprint process, and day-to-day process

10:40 Are the kids involved?

• Daily SCRUM board: white board + Scrum board home toolset
• They participate in bi-weekly check in
• Dance party and breaks are essential

13:09 Accountability without the nagging

• Assignments to the person with the more strengths in that specific area

14:45 How do we get skeptical families on board?

• Start with the daily stand-up
• Start on your own, showcase success, then show those with doubts

18:50 Quarantine times

• Get rid of #MomGuilt !

20:00 Genius / Fail moments

• Kwu’s children have both fallen to the ground from various chairs in the past week… #fail
• Chris Sexton and his wife didn't have any troubles with a PDD Twitter poll.. #win
• Arit creates a schedule for her son for his Zoom class and school work after realizing her son kept coming to her with every question #geniusfail
• Chris Arcand’s son is starting to say anything and everything he feels. Sassiness to come #fail
• Yvonne becomes the fun mom by dying her kids hair #genius
  
• Allison and her partner create space for “virtual travel” for her to prepare for GitHub’s satellite conference #genius

### How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Chris Sexton
Allison McMillan
KWu
Arit Amana
Chris Arcand

Special Guest: Yvonne Marcus.

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

01:50 Welcome, Arit!

• Software engineer
• Mother of two, 8 and 3 years-old
• Background in public health

02:50 Panel check-in

• Pandemic times
• Adjustment for the kids, work and home life
• Stress level through the roof

06:20 Childcare Responder Duty while WFH

• The younger the child, the more work required for the parent
• Calendar essential for parent and kids
• Animal crossing is the new obsession and a MUST

18:35 Arit jumps into a new role - Dev Community

• Open source coding
• Async communication style
• Flexible during the day with her youngest child
• Arit’s older son helps by taking care of his school work on his own

23:45 Work-life boundaries

• Allison works few weeks on, to take a day or two off

24:55 Genius / Fail moments

• Arit has success by taking the kids out for a walk after work that get her youngest sleeping through the night #genius
• Kwu’s daughter has some spit up discovered on her crib sheets post nap, unsure of what happened.. #geniusfail
• Chris and his wife are both working longer even though they are not commuting to work and dinner keeps getting pushed back later and later.. 10p late #genius because everyone is aligned even though hours aren’t typical
• Allison has a win by sharing photo journalism with her five-year-old son and keeps him occupied while also sharing some solid knowledge.

### How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Allison
KWu
Arit
Chris Sexton

Sponsored By:

• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30

00:23 Welcome, Darcy!

Darcy Lockman is a former journalist turned clinical psychologist and the author of All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership. Her first book, Brooklyn Zoo, chronicled the year she spent working on the psychiatric ward of a city hospital. She lives and practices (for the time being virtually) in New York City.

00:39 Orgins of All The Rage

• Child care falls on Darcy more than her husband.. moms more than dads?
• Why are we living like this?
• The impact of patriarchy on all of us

04:25 Patriarchy instilled into our culture

• Women carry 65% childcare work, while men carry 35%
• The feminine is looked down in society
• Communality / agency - girls raised to be more communal, boys are raised to be more agentic
• Women join the workforce, but keep up with childcare duties

09:32 How to guide kids with equal partnership at home

• Kids easily influenced from their outside world
• Identification with the same sex parent
• Gender detectives - searching for the group that they belong in
• The one way glass study
• Women have this idea that their male partner should not be inconvenienced, and that it’s ok if they are

16:17 Is being traditional wrong?

• What good dads get away with
• Stay at home mom stigma

19:05 Dual earning couples is sole focused on from All The Rage Book

• After work “breaks” ?After work “breaks” ?
• Unequal experience, unequal ability
• Taking care of children takes practice
• Paid paternity leave for men in other countries - use it or lose it

24:20 Who is responsible for the mental load?

• Techniques to share the workload
• Women tend to feel more responsible and may have to unlearn this feeling of taking no time off
• Underbenifitor / Overbenifitor - both sides uncomfortable

29:50 The pandemic is making the invisible workload more visible

• Possible progress to be made in couples

32:45 Genius / Fail moments

• JC’s kids have been helping around the house since the pandemic hit, including dinner! #geniuswin
• Chris grounds steak with kids to make tacos. They were a hit and ready to go, until Chris accidentally dropped a glass dish right next to the taco meat and glass got in the taco meat… Dinner restart #fail
• Darcy embraces a sugar vacation during the pandemic and let’s her girls feast on junk food that is usually not allowed. #genuisfail maybe??

Get your copy of All The Rage!

### How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

JC Avena
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Darcy Lockman.

Sponsored By:

• RAYGUN: This episode is brought to you by RAYGUN. RAYGUN has been called, ’The Greatest Store in the Universe’ by RAYGUN. Saying they are the most important clothing store earth has seen since the early Mesozoic era. They specialize in t-shirts and modesty, and are completely made and produced in the USA. If you breathe oxygen, you’ll love it. Head over to Raygunsite.com to check out your next t-shirt purchase.

00:20 Black Lives Matter Movement

02:00 How NOT to raise racist kids

• Allison and Kwu both have young kids, so conversations are slightly different
• Gender inequality talks
• Explaining to kids how and why people are treated differently in different areas
• Changing the language in the house: racism, violence, hate

07:50 Exposing pictures, graphics and videos to your children, no matter the age. What's appropriate?

• Protesters getting arrested
• Bail rates vary depending on race
• Children are very intuitive and understand more than we think

11:30 How to talk to young kids about BLM

• Bi-racial and how they are often judged by their outer appearance
• Comfortability amongst couples and how to lean into these conversations with their children

17:40 Rallies, protests and how to support

• Different forms of support during BLM
• COVID is still relevant
• Amplifying POC voices
• Daily threads on educational resources, city statuses, anti-racism resources, action items

25:10 How can we make our world better together

• Opening the conversation about anti-racism with friends, family, community members
• Focusing on the growth of our children to be anti-racist

28:45 Genius / Fail moments

• Allison’s son struggles with life after the virus as he starts to jump on their nerves from a relaxed approach at the beginning of quarantine #fail
• KWu focuses on finding a chinese immersion school for her son but it he jumps into the wrong level and doesn’t understand much and is a bit of a mess from lunch right before #fail

RESOURCES: BLM and how to talk to you kids about racism

Anti-Racism Resources
Black Lives Matter for Families
Webinars for Anti-Racism
WOKE Kindergarten
How to Talk to Your Kids About Racism
Books on Social Justice for Young Readers
Raising Race Conscious Children
Talking About Race: The Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture

BOOKS: These are books that we found to be helpful in unlearning old beliefs and learning more about modern day racism.

A Kids Book About Racism
So You Want To Talk About Race
How to Be an Antiracist
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Katherin Wu

03:08 Welcome Mike McQuaid!

Mike McQuaid is a father of two and lives and works in Edinburgh, Scotland. He is a senior engineer at Github where he’s worked for the last six years. In his free time, Mike is the package leader for the Homebrew package manager. He also likes going to the gym, walking his dog and hosting the Balancing Dad Podcast for working fathers.

03:40 Paternity leave

• Split time paternity leave (aka, you can break up your paid leave)
• Utilizing quarantine time to potty train

07:52 Mike on Balancing Dad Podcast

• Gender roles can creep in easily during transitioning into new parents
• Women are asked more, “how do you do it all,” but men are not..
• Allison shares how society pushes relationships to not be equal

15:35 Mike shares a better future is possible!

• Listing both parents on kids forms, or switching who is listed as primary contact.

18:32 What has Mike learned for hosting Balancing Dad Podcast?

• No matter the country, finances, age, relationship, all parents share a universal bond at the foundation

20:18 Culture difference with raising kids in different countries

• Maternity and paternity leave
• Healthcare
• Language/slang
• Diaper vs. nappies
• Scotland is very friendly to kids
• Different ways of being a parent and share with other parents

27:30 Worldly talks with our kids

• Traveling around the world with kids
• Discussing computer friends from around the world helps expanding cultural knowledge
• Remote work flexibility and setting boundaries with work

31:20 How does Mike manage all he does?!

• Firm boundaries
• No work or open source emails on his phone
• Work days are carved out and scheduled for certain things
• Setting expectations for certain projects
• Making things good enough, not perfect

32:20 Genius / Fail moments

• Chris was in a bit of a hurry with his son in the car and he picked up Chris getting agitated with other drivers and kept repeating “move cars, stop going so slow”. #fail
• Allison rocks a #genius with her son Devin and showcases his “Devin’s agreements” above the fireplace
• Mike slowly becomes frustrated with his younger son, while his older one sits and waits for a fork to eat, only to have him notice way after the fact... #fail
• Mike uses the phrase “just this once” and realizes that it will never be just this once ;)

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Chris Arcand

Special Guest: Mike McQuaid.

Sponsored By:

• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30
• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

01:56 Welcome Miriam!

Zerus & Ona were born from Miriam's own circumstances as a mom. By the time she had her baby, Miriam was the coordinator and teacher of a Development Bootcamp in Amsterdam. So, when the time came to go back to work (her son was 3 months old), she jumped back. After some weeks in the job, Miriam realised she couldn't do it. She was constantly sleep deprived and with no help around from family (we're expats). Miriam quit her job and stayed at home with her baby. She then started to use his naps to draw and write Zerus & Ona.

**FREE PDF from Zerus and Ona on the ABCs of Computers

03:29 Orgins of Zerus and Ona

• Miriam was leading tech bootcamps, then got pregnant
• Her baby was more work than expected ;)
• Miriam returns to work, but quit after a few weeks after returning
• Sleep deprived evenings inspired new ideas!

08:40 Finding more intention as a new mom

• Thriving through a creative outlet
• Craving more information for her child in the future, specifically around TECH
• Motherhood and creativity are interconnected
• 2 year journey to build Zerus and Ona

15:05 Switching from architecture to tech to creative children’s books

• Binge learning and career switching
• No regrets

19:05 Zerus and Ona “bits”

• Breaking down complex topics to make them easily understandable
• Miriam switches from thinking with her head, to listening with her heart.
• Unlocking creativity through The Artist's Way
• Intuitive writing, journaling and play!

28:15 Zerus and Ona 2.0

• Evolution of creating the books
• If you’re thinking of making a move, do it!
• Learning to move on from perfectionism

32:20 Genius / Fail moments

• Miriam allows her son a device while she finishes a project (unheard of in her house), only to discover all her original drawings of Zerus and Ona are GONE afterwards. #fail
• Allison’s son acts out more than usual during a super busy week for the family and realizes that maybe their communication could have been clearer with him from the start #fail
• Chris commits to structuring a new art piece with his daughter by watching YouTube videos. He ends up paying someone else, but instills a solid mindset in his daughter during the process #genius

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Get your own copy of Zerus and Ona

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Miriam Tocino.

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

01:15 Welcome!

02:04 Feeding kids is a full time job

• What are your meal time rules?
• Home delivery meal service
• Personal chef for the kids?? No…
• Meal time is meal time, and if the kids don’t eat, tough nuggets.

08:59 Dinner table time

• Phone vs no phone?
• Are you a fast eater or slow eater?
• Time to share conversations with the family
• Limiting or monitoring the amount of food for kids, do you do this? Sometimes the doctors have given us parents too much to mull over...

13:12 Food as restriction or reward?

• Dessert time - it’s a thing that is to be enjoyed
• Keto desserts… YUM Quest cookie obsessed
• Keto cake
• Chocolate chip cookies

19:25 Cook at home vs. ordering out

• Meal prepping during the weekend to prepare for the week. This makes it quicker and easier. Less work too ;)
• No meat preschools - managing meals around kids school food programs.
• Therapeutic time in the kitchen
• Leftovers are best and easiest!
• Ever hear of module dinner architecture? KWu and her family utilize this magic.
• Meal deliveries for the win - Home Chef, Green Chef, Nurture Life
• Keto 101: Simply Keto: A Practical Approach to Health & Weight Loss, with 100+ Easy Low-Carb Recipes
• Kosher household

27:05 Household hacks

• Breakfast for dinner on Friday nights. What’s your favorite??
• Kids Eat in Color - tips on how to present food to your kids
• Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook, by Ellyn Satter
• Smitten Kitchen
• Maximizing on slow cookers // insta pots - our favorites :)
• Cook’s Illustrated - for stews, slow cookers, and more!
• Mirepoix
• Parenting trade off - you can choose cooking or the kids

40:18 Making the kitchen as your sanctuary

• Football season - perfectly steamed shrimp and cheese boards for the win
• Dinner time is a celebration!
• Bringing coding into meal prepping ;)
• How to manage the recipe system. Hands-free Vertical Recipe Flipper OR Classic Juvale Wood Recipe Organization Box

45:40 Genius / Fail moments

• Mandy has an awesome win when she hears her daughter is totally comfortable with her, including asking her sex-ed questions. You too for older girls #genius
• Allison’s son chose to wear a bowtie for picture day and it turned out way better than expected! #genius
• KWu bakes it up with her toddler that he helped make! #genius and delicious muffins for the win.

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Mandy Moore
KWu

Sponsored By:

• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30

Welcome, Nick Means!
Nickolas Means loves nothing more than a story of engineering triumph (except maybe a story of engineering disaster). When he's not stuck in a Wikipedia loop reading about plane crashes, he spends his days as a Senior Engineering Manager at GitHub working on Security and Compliance tooling for our users. He's also a co-host of the Managing Up podcast, a show about leading and managing in the world of technology. He works remotely from Austin, TX, and spends most of his spare time hanging out with his wife and kids, going for runs, or trying to brew the perfect cup of coffee.

01:54 How do you approach management with parents on your team?

• Treating your team as you would want to be treated as a parent
• Setting examples to your team as a manager
• Evaluate the job performance on the work actually done, and not clock a few hours taken off for kid responsibilities
• Flexibility and trust in team members and manager

07:12 Work life balance and work life integration

• Work sometimes becomes an escape from parenting life
• Self care for parents! No kids included, you need you

11:35 How do you encourage your team members to take time for themselves

• Ask the right questions to figure out what will fill their cup?
• As a manager, you’re more aware of the state of your team members and can identify things quicker
• Applaud team members when you see them take the effort for PTO

17:18 When you’re the only parent on the team.. How to make others understand

• Speak with kindness, set boundaries, have trust
• Time zone issues
• Setting boundaries with your team members
• How to structure workflow with team members in different zones

26:20 Managers making it explicit that it is OK to be done when you leave your workstation

28:02 Managing for non-remote teams

• Inflexibility when have to go into office
• Complexity for parents when they are totally out of the convo when working in an office

31:40 Moms vs. Dads double standard

• Putting family time on calendar
• Single parenting, the lack of help

33:40 How can managers support parental leave

• Encouraging more time for first time parents
• The job to support parents starts when they decide to have kids, not just during the leave
• Twins

37:50 Genius // fail

• Chris Sexton, how do you spell drop? #fail
• Josh had the sex talk…. but bombed on the timing with his daughter #geniusfail
• Allison has a nice turkey day with kids and neighbors, building her more positive memories! #genius
• Chris Arcand makes his nanny wait on her scheduled time off #fail
• Mandy gets a puppy… and it's a beautiful new experiences to share with her daughter
• Nick and his wife forget about homework… his son gets it done, but they all struggle the next day #fail

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Chris Arcand
Josh Puetz
Mandy Moore
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Nick Means.

Welcome, Bekah!
A content-creator by nature. Bekah is working on websites, coding-related projects, and her blog, but she has also written three screenplays, three pilots, and is finishing up a memoir. Bekah is all about getting creative!

A mom to four young kids (3-10), Bekah has spent the last ten years of her life adjuncting in various university English departments. She is practically doing a 180 learning to code, and is sharing her failures, successes, and everything that falls in between.

Bekah graduated from Flatiron School Software Engineering program, in May 2019. She been working at Sprokets as a frontend dev since July 1, 2019.

01:15 Bekah’s journey in career switching

• Trauma after 4th kid
• Husband encouraged her to code, and it helped with her PTSD
• She realized her passion and continued to tackled the challenges
• Bekah was a teacher prior to coding

02:40 Coding became therapeutic

• Learning a new skill requires intense focus, gave Bekah excitement and a break from past trauma, because coding required her FULL focus
• Constant learning with code
• Flow state when you sync into your work
• Code provides structure to balance a chaotic life with children
• Out of Africa & Into the Cloud: Girls can Code too : coding inspiration

06:28 How to get through the lows of learning to code?

• Imposter syndrome
• Setting goals week-by-week, month-by-month, quarter-by-quarter
• Embracing the learning curve

11:23 How to manage coding and kids?

• Community and mentorship
• Momscan.co, online co-working, sharing experiences
• Embracing natural flow, Bekah codes in the morning, because she’s a morning person

16:08 Conquering difficult births and moving past trauma

• Finding a mentor with similar experiences

17:51 Bringing coding methods into the house routine

• Sunday ritual for planning for the week ahead
• Bekah’s partner codes as well, built in mentor, and key communication

23:10 Experience in women in tech community highlights

• Being open and willing for meetups!
• Alex Tate - aligned interested to support moms in tech
• Moms need more support, especially with younger kids
• Childcare at meetups

29:20 Any surprises of the moms in tech community?

• The true vulnerability moms offer in support groups

31:47 Genius // fail

• Adarsh hired a babysitter for the morning after his wife's birthday bash! #genius
• Allison empowers her son's creativity and gives him all the extra boxes and he makes rocketships and more! #genius
• Mandy bonds with her daughter watching a classic favorite, Full House #genius
• Bekah’s daughter wants to go to Harry Potter land, and is reading all the Harry Potter books to prove it! #genius ...but maybe #fail when Bekah’s daughter decides to cash in on a promise
• JC’s bird watching community is growing and growing! But his family lacks consistency to join… #fail

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Adarsh Pandit
JC Avena
Mandy Moore

Special Guest: Bekah Hawrot Weigel.

Sponsored By:

• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30

In today's episode we discuss what everyone is talking about, COVID-19. Yes, we talk about it. We're talking about the new normal, full time remote work, childcare - or the lack there of, how to communicate the situation to our children, and what this means for our world moving forward. Tune in!

00:55 COVID-19 check in

• On a scale of freaking out vs totally chill… How many tweets are you reading?
• Self quarantine pre plan
• Chris has a dry run when his son catches the flu... *The actual flu.

05:40 The new normal

• Will grocery stores shut down?
• Limit social outings
• Sports, events, and all gatherings are being cancelled… more of an inconvenience

09:10 Tech has shut. it. down.

• Everyone is working for home, asap
• What’s the deal with other industries?
• If you can stay home, stay home

13:20 New policies

• What about goals?
• College kids subbing as the new neighborhood babysitters
• Privilege in steady jobs
• Preschools and schools - some open vs. some closed

24:10 What about the kids?

• Toddlers situation.. They need room to move, but also need to be hand-washed supervised
• Parenting milestones

27:55 Full time work from home

• Hermit life has become even more hermit-y
• Parenting switch offs

29:15 How to communicate covid-19 to our children

• One kid was shown a picture of the virus.. So now all the kids in preschool want to see a picture of the virus
• Middle school kids are informed with a bit more detail
• Those are the rules!
• No more toys at school

37:28 Genius // fail

• Chris blames the cats… but they were framed!! By his corgi
• Allison has a COVID-19 #fail
• KWu’s strategy is to switch over to online purchases when possible.. Minimal contact #genius

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
Katherine Wu

00:20 Welcome

• We discuss what it's like to work for a company that you may not agree with their ethics
• The difficult decisions and thoughts when you have a family and dependents counting on you

00:55 Examples of companies dealing with ethical controversy

• Companies working with ICE, kickstarter
• Ethical clients, customers, organizers, labor oriented - who’s responsible?

02:34 Technology, good or evil?

• Surveillance
• Hyper aware of indications within our jobs and technology
• Being in the tech industry, able to create foundational tech communication - bonus
• US culture is more politically aware within the last few years

06:40 Being more involved

• Lessons of the past
• Minority identity
• What are we if we don’t participate

09:30 Support and encouragement to leave a job, things to consider

• Financial decisions play a huge role
• Putting family at financial risk
• Healthcare
• Retirement benefits

16:44 Inflexible costs of leaving a job

• Childcare
• Extra childcare - nannies livelihood
• Donation makeup for moral indications

19:35 What can we do?

• Don’t public shame others
• Leaving a role is instant, but long term change takes time
• Use your voice for what you support
• Vote with your wallet

28:15 Genius / Fail moments

• Allison's son gets groovy with techno in the AM
• Adarsh’s son is back in the hospital from another day at the park..
• The monkey bars!
• Kids are being taught how to talk about their feelings #hugeWin

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Adarsh Pandit

Welcome Richard Schneeman!

Schneems writes Ruby at Heroku, and maintains CodeTriage.com, a tool for helping people contribute to Open Source. He is in the top 50 Rails contributors and is an accidental maintainer of Sprockets and Puma. When he isn't obsessively compulsively refactoring code for performance, he writes such gems as Wicked, and derailed_benchmarks.

00:30 Welcome, Richard Schneeman!

01:00 All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership

• The book: All the Rage: Mothers Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership
• Co-parenting, gender equality
• Progressive relationships default into gender roles after kids

05:18 Progressive Parenting

• What’s fair?
• Progressive until they have to make a change..

08:15 Moms vs. Dads

• Dad’s get applauded when caring for children in public
• Creating boundaries of designated mom and dad jobs with the kids

10:50 Visible Work vs. Invisble Work

• How to balance and create boundaries between partners
• RSVP’s - CC’d emails, response, birthday presents, who’s responsible?
• Coding pairs and how they relate

17:01 How to Define Who is Responsible?

• Create a system
• The mentorship manner
• Not only doing what is asked, but proactively taking steps

21:15 Meta Tasks

• Partners double checking each others work, basically twice the work!
• Micro managing

25:30 Calendar System

• Shared task and to-do lists
• Bringing work management systems into home management systems; Learning AGILE
• Schedule a weekly meeting with your partner to go over shared cared
• Check the calendar!

31:01 Genius / Fail moments

• Josh’s daughter gets her hair dyed and it looks great, but her new conditioner leaks the blue color from her hair all over the bathroom! #fail
• Chris coordinates Grandpa time to give his wife more free time #genius
• Richard’s son glues his favorite picture on his bedroom wall, with handwritten marker too #geniusfail
• Allison has a genius in Sweden with her two young children

All the Rage: Mothers, Father, and the Myth of Equal Partnership

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Chris Arcand
Josh Puetz

Special Guest: Richard Schneeman .

Welcome, Kari Clark! Kari is the founder Uplift Parents, a coaching service for working moms. She previously worked at Google for 8 years, invented their live case product, and co-created many other products. Kari has two kids and believes that they both made her a better at her job! Interviewing over 100 women, all at the top of their field, Kari breaks down the common threads in successful working moms and how we all can amplify our lives. These are the best tips for working moms!

00:50 Welcome, Kari

• Had two kids during her time at google
• Became incredibly focused after kids
• Interviewing women at the top of their fields (all moms) and created Uplift

02:50 What was the trend of working moms from home and in the office?

• There is success in many ways
• Common trend, perspective, empathy and efficiency

04:45 Ruthless efficiency

• Make more of your time
• Details are huge after having kids
• OCD tendencies?!

7:35 How to balance efficiency with rest

• Uplift offers group or individual coaching sessions and encourages users to get off the hamster wheel and take time to reflect and make sure they are aligned with their path.
• Take time to savor your coffee, smell the flowers, and remember what’s important!
• Your careers are long, your kids are only very young for a short time

12:08 Enjoying work-life balance

• Feeling fulfilled from work, unapologetically, especially for women
• Creating intentional boundaries to spend time with family

14:10 Pushback from women mentorship

• Difference between mentorship and coaching
• Everyone has a nutritionist, trainer, and other specialists, why would you not have one on motherhood??
• Networking was the number 1 thing that got cut in women’s career post kids

19:50 Not parenting advice, working mom advice

• New life changes encourage new life habits
• Uplift promotes big changes
• 2nd kid offers ease for moms and promotes big changes!

24:30 Moms and dads treated differently

• Dads are praised more than moms

25:40 Best “Zone Defense” tips for working moms

• Be kind to yourself!
• Logistical tip - be creative in how you delegate things
• Be comfortable with giving your kids responsibility, most will rise to the challenge
• Assign responsibilities for each partner, and trusting that they are taking care of it

34:20 How to delegate

• More intentionality behind choices
• Uplift encourages conversations about household tasks, etc
• Do you enjoy it? If not, delegate

39:10 Mom data from Uplift Parents

41:15 Genius / Fail moments

• Kwu’s son falls down the stairs :(
• Chris takes his son to The Lion King and forgets all diapers…
• Kari genius/fail combo on his son’s new school schedule
• Josh realizes he needs help with guiding his daughter academically, but his daughter is totally on board and cooperative #genius #win
• Allison’s daughter is extra exploratory and discovers essential oils!

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

KWu
Allison McMillan
Chris Arcand
Josh Puetz

Special Guest: Kari Clark.

This episode we feature two new panelists on Parent Driven Development, Chris Arcand and Adarsh Pandit!

Chris is a Minnesota native holding two bachelor degrees in musical performance and computer science. After some years spent in Washington DC, Chris and his wife decided to return to their home in Minneapolis to start their family. They have a 2-year-old son and one more on the way! Chris currently works as a software engineer at Hashicorp. Welcome Chris.

Adarsh is a developer consultant living in Oakland, California with his wife and two sons. He is the founder of Cylinder Digital and is currently on the Ruby Developer Board. Originally from Michigan, this former scientist taught himself code while working for boutique consulting firms. Adarsh is currently the primary caregiver at home and is embracing every sock and sandal dad moment he can get! Welcome Adarsh.

00:30 Welcome Chris and Adarsh!

00:51 Chris Arcand

• Chris shares a bit about his past work experience, family and himself!

03:04 Adarsh Pandit

• Adarsh shares a bit about his past work experience, family and himself!

05:40 Do we do too much?

• Adarsh’s wife is practicing physician and is super busy! Early mornings, late nights and even weekends
• Adarsh is totally a hands-on dad! Taking on the majority of childcare in the home (socks and sandals kind of guy with no shame)
• Bringing in software development tools into parenting, scheduling activities, etc… and they are useful!

07:25 Irregular work schedules

• This can cause more difficulty in scheduling for kids
• Kids thrive under routine and consistency and irregular schedules can be tough
• Adarsh currently does leadership consulting and is a CTO working about 20-30 hours a week, this gains him flexibility

09:10 Consulting and irregular work schedules, how do they mesh?

• Coding needs more focus and uninterrupted time, not conducive to irregular scheduling
• To-do lists are super important, but so is knowing when to let them go!

11:59 Summer vs. school schedules

• Allison’s kids are currently in year-round school, she preps for the years of summer camps, activities, and whole new schedules… uh oh!

14:05 Older kids get more responsibility

• You’re actually managing less as your kids grow up.
• Baby bags are essential!
• Kids bring extra hands on vacations
• Parents now empathize with crying babies AND the parents holding them

15:40 Traveling with young kids

• Trend in families with a known “bad baby traveler”
• The treats are not really necessary, a crying baby is normal
• Chris had a seat neighbor draw a panda on a bag for his youngster when he had an uncomfortable flight
• Overall consensus, we shouldnt be bribing each other

19:40 How moms and dads are treated differently

• Mom’s may be glared at for having a screaming baby on a plane, dad’s are instantly supported
• More empathy comes from parenthood, especially when you get more educated on child development

24:30 Growing families

• KWu’s son starts part-time preschool, and is expecting her second!
• Chris expects his second child as well
• Doula‘s plus photography bundle - are these photos too personal?
• Emergency births are very overwhelming
• Scheduled C sections are bizzare, but can be more calm

31:45 Multiple kids

• Is it the different personalities of the kids, or is the younger child a bit easier to manage?
• Multiple kids can help entertain each other
• Time goes quicker after each kid
• Kids learn lessons when having siblings
• Oldest vs youngest child

43:28 Genius / fail moments

• Adarsh's family camping trip ends in the hospital #fail
• Chris fails at pre-planning to move-out of his house.. by taking a vacation the week before!
• KWu fails at unpacking from her cross-country move, misplacing her microphone and engagement ring…
• Allison has a genius finishing her daughter’s “quiet book”
• Chris finds success by implements reading time before bed #genius
• JC has a proud dad moment #genius
• KWu’s forgets the bug repellent #fail, but scores from a teenager to keep her son safe! #genius

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

KWu
Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
JC Avena
Chris Arcand
Adarsh Pandit

• This episode will discuss the process of international adoption, the major changes that hit home, and future challenges adopting parents and children face

00:28 Welcome, Kalimar

• How long does it take to adopt a child internationally? It took Kalimar 2 ½-3 years!
• Kalimar and his wife have had their baby girl for 6 months, she is now 21 month old
• Huge learning curve welcoming a child that already has mobility

01:12 Why choose adoption?

• Kalimar and his wife are 35+ and decided this was the right option for them

01:39 What is process for international adoption?

• Adoption ad in paper, an option
• International adoption agencies is most common and safe
• International adoption requirements: Micro scale of state approval, social workers, background checks, reading, workshops, cultural events, then moving to federal approval then international country approval

4:43 How hard is it to adopt a child? Is parenting easier or harder?

• The paperwork is tough, but Kalimar says parenting is harder!
• Everyone and every book has a different advice on parenting
• Kids don't come with instructions

6:05 Challenges of being a new parent?

• No more late nights because baby doesn’t sleep in
• The need for more friendly activities with friends, luckily most of Kalimar's friends already have kids!
• Secret sledding hills that have mostly been kid only zones are now opened up to play at

8:08 Experiencing everything with fresh eyes

• KWU's son is full of excitement and the energy is contagious
• Kalimar's daughter eats spaghetti for the first time and its adorable
• New toddlers like to explore their limits and gravity

10:36 Things to consider when adopting a child

• The challenges in adopting a newborn verse a toddler
• Kalimar had to baby proof before bringing his daughter home
• The danger kid zone within the house, everyone has one

12:20 Are post adoption services and consultants available?

• Yes! Massive support from adoption agency, trainings, workshops, other families and community members
• Why parenting classes are important and how biological parents should be put through parenting school just like adoption parents
• First day with adopted child - the bumps, triumphs and everything in between

15:23 How do you decide which agency or country to choose from?

• First google agency, then attend an open house and adoption seminars, see who you mesh with
• Factor in expense of international adoption cost and timeline that it will take

17:45 How do the adoption seminars prepare you?

• Kalimar reflects on the self question of making it known that his daughter is adopted in daycare or not
• Adoption transition tips - understanding the child is going through HUGE emotional changes
• Kalimar feels lucky his daughter is so adaptable
• How to talk about the adoption process with your child at the level they can understand.
• Open discussion is best, remove the taboo
• Adoptive parents do a whole lot of work and are totally the parents

24:13 Top parent concerns, are they adoption based?

• Kalimar worries about his daughter being treated as a minority, as he and his wife are caucasion and their daughter is Indian.
• Girl and dad relationship, other common worries
• Become a part of the local community of their daughters orgin
• Pros and cons of exposing your child to their origin country

28:46 Genius / Fail moments

• Chris stores old legos and toys in his attic until his friends with new babies need them. Out of the house and supporting a friend #parentingwin
• Allison gets crafty by using walkie-talkies to keep in touch with her 4-year-old son at her office HQ #genius
• JC’s 10-year-old daughter is a total catch! She learns how to put in the work to improve her skills as her teams catcher.
• KWU’s son is repeating everything. She’s noted to watch her language, but proud that her son has picked up on her good habits and is mimicking new language.
• Kalimar temps his daughter back to the dinner table by making it look like the most delicious time ever!
• Kids continue to throw food on the ground... to learn reaction and explore new roles #fail

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

KWu
JC Avena
Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Kalimar Maia.

Welcome!

00:35 Summer vacationing as a kid vs. adult

• The hosts reflect back on their experience of summer vacation as a child vs. what their kids experience now.
• How much do kids actually remember on these family vacations?
• Loads and loads of driving!!

06:52 Flying vs. driving

• The views!
• You can either see more of the places in between or more of the place you’re going to
  
• What does your family value more?
• Is the classic road trip only nostalgic?
  

10:20 KWu's travels

• KWu becomes a foodie in Paris!
• Winter ski trips
• KWu thinks it’s a good start to travel domestically before going internationally with her own children

12:06 Involving the kids in travel plans

• Get the ideas of what the kids are actually interested in to make for a better vacation

14:13 Take the kids anyways

• Kids may end up being grumpy anyways, so let's take them along regardless

14:50 Older kids remember more

• Super rewarding as a parent to hear positive feedback from the kids on a successful vacation
• Playing name that tune on the car ride home - the feeling that may actually last in our kids memories.

17:11 Yearly vacations and sporadic trips

• Chris plans a yearly beach trip with family as the designated time to get together
• Annual cousins week
• Josh’s daughter gets real about wanting to go to new places and experience new things during summer trips
• JC takes the kids on an annual beach trip but mixes it up with locations

20:13 Let your kids bring friends on vacation

• Josh finds success having his daughter bring a friend on a weekend getaway
• Built in play buddies when friends come along

23:01 Sporting events with kids and friends

• Built in getaways with friends
• Typically less drama
• Other parents around to mingle with and relax

23:43 Vacationing with another family

• Allow the kids to be with kids, and adults to be with adults
• Share responsibilities of who is caperoning #parentinghack
• But do the parenting philosophies match up?!

26:50 Different screen time rules

• Josh’s daughter is a mini Zuckerberg while her comrades are a bit behind
• A friend to Chris's kids ican't seem to put his phone away during bowling night
• JC had a TV in the mainroom on a vacation and it became the default daily wind down

29:40 Setting ground rules for phone time before vacations

• Josh’s daughter follow suit and uses her phone for taking pictures
• Assigning family time without phones is best to keep everyone on the same page

33:01 Keeping things fresh during family vacation

• Dice roll for a fresh activities
  Some of the best memories come from impulsive detours

34:36 Genius / fail moments

• KWu’s son went out and got eaten by tons of mosquitoes causing so much itching that they eventually bleed Bath time is now a nightmare #fail
• Chris and his wife volunteer to help out a family friend’s twins! He soon realizes the horror of having multiples
• Josh’s daughter has been having loads of sleepovers and he’s been sending a bottle of wine for the watchful parents. Definite notion of being invited back #genius
• JC’s oldest graduated high school, planning for college and is working hard over summer break. #proudparent

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Chris Sexton
KWu
Josh Puetz
JC Avena

00:59 Welcome, Barrett Clark

• Barrett Clark is a data programmer, speaker and author of Data Visualization ToolKit. He is a longtime member of the Ruby community and a co-organizer of RailCamp South. Married for 22 years, Barrett and his wife have two teenage boys and a new dog.

• Ruby community

• Family: 2 highschool teenage sons (senior / sophomore) both in band.

• Parent advisors and past president to children’s band team

01:46 Extra curricular activities for kids

• Barrett’s son involved with band
• The parents get involved as well, to have the kids know that you value them and their interest
• carpools with fellow parents

08:25 Extra cirrculars taking up more time than school and work. How to deal?

• Helping kids see the importance of prioritizing (school, dating, work, band, etc)

12:20 Helping kids find their “thing” + Overly committing kids to activities to help them find a passion

• Signing your kids up for more activities
• Kids getting wiped out from over activity
• Teaching kids the importance of community at a young age

15:15 Help kids find their community

• Friends of similar interests and ideals
• Creating deeper bonds
• Certain activities lend towards a larger community than others. gymnastic - girls range from 12-18, while sports often limit to one age group

17:13 Becoming a part of your kids activities

• More time with your children
• Build your own community amongst the other parents involved with your kids
• Flexibility in being involved “part-time”

20:51 Uninvolved parents vs. involved parents

• Single parents
• Younger kids in school
• Parents helping each other get their kids to activities
• Making sure other kids have support if their parents aren’t there or too busy

25:45 Ways to keep busy parents in the loop: build greater community

• Film concerts, games, etc for distant family members or busy parents to help keep them involved
• Building the community feel past just teammates and classmates

27:28 Discussing the organization of extra cirrculars before getting involved

• Sit down and discuss with your child. what’s important to you most? will you have time for all these sports and clubs?
• Ask about the history of the organization and decipher if it’s the right fit for you and your child

30:02 How to deal with “that parent” + learning to manage other parents in your kids activities

• Don’t yell at refs
• Overly involved parent envy

32:14 The financial side

• Fundraisers - parents typically have to get involved as well
• Writing a check vs. spending the time on fundraisers
• Kids take responsibility (older kids)
• Parents budgeting for future extracurriculars for kids
• Non-negotiable extracurriculars for kids - kids choice vs. have-to’s
• Budgeted financial support for activity or sport

42:35 Genius / fail moments

• The volleyball team offers a weekend trial for students to try without commitment. #genius
• New favorite child when they take on your same activity
• Barrett plays catch up with son’s college applications - the struggles motivating your child and parent strategy #geniusfail
• Middle school back to school night, too many teachers and no quality time #failmoment
• Allison’s son on a mission to find Sukana bread… except she doesn’t know what it is #fail
• Kwu’s son’s first haircut goes awry #fail So Kwu stepped up, orders tools and cuts his hair at home now #genius

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

KWu
Chris Sexton
JC Avena
Allison McMillan
Josh Puetz

Special Guest: Barrett Clark.

00:28 Welcome, Adarsh Pandit

• Adarsh is a self taught coder, scientist and consultant. He is the founder of Cylinder Digital, a software design and development studio, and is on the board of Ruby Together.

• This episode we discuss what it’s like to raise a family, while living away from your parents and other family members.

03:00 The difficulties of raising a family away from family

• Lack of support
• Career trade offs
• Finding a sitter

07:01 Home-Ops: The Business Side of Raising a Family

• Who can help with childcare?
• Realizing the limitations of parents age and health as they get older
• Adjusting child care depending on the time, day or event that they are covering for. - who can drive?

13:30 - Coping with coordination

• Co-op babysitting
• Drop off playdates with neighbors

17:11 Finding the Right Child/Child and Parent/Parent Match

• Finding the perfect family match: kids need to get along and parents need to get along
• Building rapport with other families to become close enough to ask for favors for pick-up give specific dietary requirements, disciplining other kids and have other parents disciplining your kids
• “it’s probably fine” - trusting other parents with your kids

22:15 The Importance of Being a Patient Parent Without Extra Family Support

• Effective response to kids
• Managing stress - yoga, lots of water, getting outside, eating well

23:37 Work Flexibility

• Staying organized as a working parent
• Being a consultant has been helpful for Adarsh because he can dial up or down depending on the demands of the children.
• The benefits of being at home or working at home - enjoy the time with your toddlers because there will be a day they will not want your attention any more.

30:03 The Trade Offs of Having Two Working Parents

• Potential extra PTO for one the parents
• One parent typically has a more flexible schedule

32:30 Fail Moments

• More poop stories, because poop is always funny. #Fail

36:16 Showing Empathy Towards our Kids

• Kids are actually little people with little personalities and their own personal functions, weird!?
• Allowing kids to figure things out on their own.

39:30 Genius Moments

• Allison invites her son Devin on stage during a conference event and he tells says… “Mommy, I just want to be just like you when I grow up” #genius
• KWu’s diaper change at the playground #fail… having a spare outfit in the diaper bag #genius
• Adarsh gets his son to poop in the toilet #genius

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

KWu
Allison McMillan
Adarsh Pandit

00:45 Welcome, Dana Jones

Our guest, Dana Jones, Engineering Manager at Abstract.
Dana has 4 children. Came in to software development from an untraditional path.

2:00 Dana goes back to school

Dana has also recently gone back to school to get her college degree and talks about her experience

5:15 talking about the people side of our work and people management

8:40 how do you organize yourself?

14:00 kids and driving

16:30 how are challenges different at different times in your life and when you’re kids are different ages

20:20 professional development with non-tiny children and child development/phases

22:00 Meeting kids where they’re at

23:00 how has family time changed as children have gotten older

25:00 ask more questions and give fewer answers at work and at home

28:00 moderating your reactions as a parent

35:37 Genius and Fail moments!

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

KWu
Chris Sexton
Allison McMillan

Special Guest: Dana Jones.

00:16 Welcome, Itamar Turner-Trauring

Itamar Turner-Trauring started his software career in the cutting-edge field of multimedia CD-ROMs. He currently works as a consultant helping speed up Python code and deployments, and shares his software and career mistakes every week with 3700 programmers on his Software Clown newsletter. His crowning achievement as a parent was when months of brainwashing paid off and his daughter stopped saying "my legs are tired" and started saying "my legs are getting stronger! Itmar is that author of "You Can Negotiate A 3-Day Weekend".

00:51 Working Part-Time as a Programmer and Writing a Book

• "You Can Negotiate A 3-Day Weekend

03:54 Overcoming "This Isn't Normal" or "Entitlement" Feelings

• Negotiation is easier at your current job. Your work ethic is already established.
• Frame/approach it as a problem-solving situation.

08:05 Difficult Parts of Negotiation

• Harder to do up-front at new companies.
• Communication concerns.
• What about emergencies?
• Worries about getting work done and job commitment.

11:26 Scheduling Your Shorter Workweek

• Be courteous of your team.
• Plan around regularly-scheduled meetings.

14:40 Utilizing Extra Time as a Parent

17:52 Taking on Remote-Friendly Tasks + Peer Reactions

20:12 Output Value + Impact

• You can be productive and work shorter hours.
• The better the management, the less of an issue.
• Asking yourself, "What is enough work?" can be a struggle to measure when you're not counting hours.
• Honor your commitments.
• Parents are excellent multitaskers!!!

28:44 Genius / Fail Moments

• KWu uses a sippy cup at night so she doesn't knock it over. (#Genius)
• Chris told his daughter, "You are not your homework," which was adapted from "You are not your code!" (#Genius)
• Itmar's daughter's snack negotiation skills are getting more sophisticated. (#Genius/Fail)
• It took less than 90 seconds for Allison's life to fall apart in her household! (#Fail)

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

KWu
Chris Sexton
Allison McMillan

Special Guest: Itamar Turner-Trauring.

00:11 Welcome, Annyce Davis!

• Annyce spends her day-to-day working as a Software Developer and Leader. She has specifically been focused on Android applications for the past several years. She's also an Android Google Developer Expert. This means that she spends a lot of time developing videos, blog posts, and conference talks for the Developer Community.
• Annyce is currently the Software Group Lead at a social impact startup called Zola Electric. They provide clean, transformative energy to households that suffer from expensive, unreliable grids or have no grid access at all. She gets to help impact the lives of people across Africa by developing a high-quality Android application that’s used by their entire sales force.

01:25 Moving from the U.S. to Amsterdam

• Fell in love with Europe about 4-5 years ago.
• 2 years ago, had an opportunity to move for a job opportunity.

02:55 Kids' Reactions to the Prospect of Moving / Transitioning After Moving

• Were worried about their grandparents and what the food would be like.
• Curiousity around schooling. Now attend an International School and take Dutch language lessions twice a week.
• Adjusting and acceptance of differences between life in the U.S. vs Amsterdam.

09:35 Logistics of Relocation to Another Country

• A cleaning process for your life and letting things go.
• If it wasn't sentimental, it went.
• Renting a furnished home.
• Take what you need to get through a few months. Shipping containers take a loooong time to be delivered.

15:20 Giving Kids Worldly Experience at a Young Age

• Exposure to diverse cultures.
• Status/prestige differences.
• Blissful ignorance to certain things.

19:26 Networks of Support & Feeling American While Not in America

• Having family send U.S. essentials!! Stock up while visiting.
• Visiting at least once a year.

25:39 Travel Tips

• Bring snacks.
• Have laundry soap.
• Wear compression socks on the plane.
• Figure out the money situation in advance.

31:43 Traveling Without Your Kids: Maintaining Relationships

• Having a transparent schedule.
• Talk every day.
• Bring souveniers.
• Being a parent and pursuing your career:

People ask me for career advice all of the time. Here's a cheer:

Self-deprecate, self-deprecate
Just smile and congratulate
Work twice as hard for half the pay
Play with your kids every other day
GOOOOOOOOO CAREER!!! #happytuesday #morningthoughts pic.twitter.com/sEH2xkl4y0

— Annyce Davis (@brwngrldev) April 23, 2019

• Set limits.
• Make it count when you're home.
• When you're away, the kids will be okay. And half the time, they don't even care! (They'll just make you feel guilty leading up to the trip.)

What Do Teenagers Want? Potted Plant Parents

45:37 Genius / Fail Moments

• KWu found convenient vegetables! (#Genius)
• Annyce messed up the train schedule, so they walked and tired the kids out! (#Genius/Fail)
• Mandy didn't pay attention to where her daughter way playing. Heeeeyyyyy, poison ivy! (#Fail)

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

KWu
Mandy Moore

Special Guest: Annyce Davis.

00:57 Balancing Conferencing with Parenting

• Andy has organized RedDotRubyConf, still organizes Brighton Ruby, and has spoken the past few years at RubyConf.
• Andy also puts out an email newsletter, with one Ruby/Rails technique delivered with a ‘why?’ and a ‘how?’ every two weeks. It’s deliberately brief, focussed & opinionated, and called One Ruby Thing.
• Chris helps to co-organize Ruby For Good.
  • Systems, systems, systems.
  • Staying in the speaker hotel during crunch time.
  • Getting paid helps.
  • Having no co-organizers = no extra communication challenges.
  • Relying on your partner.
  • Staying local helps.
  • Having a venue.

06:52 Conference Sizes: How Big is Big?

• Andy runs Brighton Ruby as a single track, one-day conference of 300-400.
• Ruby Central conferences by comparison are up to about 1,000 attendees and multi-track over 3-4 days.
• Ruby For Good is about 80 people, but has less of a conference feel because it's groups of people hacking on different projects over a few days.

09:46 Classifying These Gatherings as "Work-Adjacent Hobbies"

• Benefits the career.
• Meeting, networking, and making friends.
• Feel-good factor.
• Prioritization.
• Time frees up as kids have gotten older.

19:30 Family Involvement

• Kids on stage are cute.
• Teenagers can help volunteer!
• Osmosis of exposure. This is what mom/dad does!
• Showing that work does not necessarily equal drudgery.

22:30 Behind-The-Scenes Tradeoffs

• The best track at any conference is the speaker track.
  • Coaching, mentoring, and cheering on first-time speakers.
• Repetition of putting on conferences over the years = it gets easier, more fun, and less stressful.
  • Atomic Habits

28:21 Meal Kits and Meal Planning Conversation

• We all have tried them. We all have opinions. We are definitely open for sponsorship. Email us! 👇🏻

32:36 Getting Involved in Conferences (for those who are brave enough)

• Speak.
• Volunteer.
• Conference Scholar/Guide Programs. i.e. Ruby Central's
• Community Meetups

37:46 Genius / Fail Moments

• Andy's kids learning empathy from movies. (#Genius)
• Chris forgot to pack his son's main lunch entreé and left it in the microwave! (#Fail)
• Josh's daughter revealing she has a video clip of the two of them from when she was very little and being fond of watching it often. (Genius)
• KWu's son fell and hit his head 🤕. (#Fail)

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Chris Sexton
KWu
Josh Puetz
Andy Croll